h, February... Valentine's F in P.E, or, in the case of an
Day, a long President's Day elementary student - a comment
weekend, spring is just like "may be retained, please
around the corner, the days are call the teacher".
getting longer... and REPORT
CARDS! The wonderful relationship What can a parent do when this
you think you have with your happens besides break down and
child can go right down the drain cry or ground your child for
if the report card comes home and life? There are more reasonable
it's not good news, or worse, you (and productive) ways to deal
are not prepared to open the with a poor report card.
envelope and read comments like,
"homework assignments missing", 1) Don't scream and yell at your
"poor class participation", child. It will only make matters
"missed class too many times". worse. They won't admit it, but
How could this be your kid, the they probably feel three times as
one who definitely leaves every bad as you do, after all it's
morning for school with back pack their report card, not yours.
in tow, the kid who you know is Give them time to explain what
in his room doing homework for happened. Try to remain calm and
two hours, the kid who lovingly chances are you will get the
smiles at you and kisses you truth, not a shrug of the
goodbye on a Friday night on her shoulders and an "I don't know, I
way out the door to hang out at thought I was doing great!"
the mall with her friends? It all
seems so normal and then the 2) If they admit they just don't
REPORT CARD arrives. What could understand the subject or can't
have possibly happened to be deal with their teacher, listen
staring at grades something like with an open mind. The teacher
- four C's, two D's and a big fat problem you can do nothing about.
Tell them they have to learn how assignments. There is certainly
to manage their teacher, just nothing wrong with checking the
like a boss. The teacher isn't site and asking to see the work.
going anywhere, but they have the Looking at the homework doesn't
power to make your child's life mean reading it word for word;
miserable. Explain to them they you goal is to be sure it has
are going to encounter all kinds been completed. A savvy parent
of people in the real world who should know that reading Chapter
they dislike and it would behoove Three in World History is going
them to try to do what the to take much less time than
teacher is asking. If they don't preparing a 1,000 word essay
understand the subject, ask them complete with a multi-media
if a friend is doing better and presentation for your student's
can study with them or consider English Literature class. Be
getting a professional tutor. aware of how your student is
Parents who think they have an spending their time after school
excellent rapport with their kids and how much time they are
usually are miserable if they try devoting to homework.
to help them. There is just
something about mom or dad trying 4) One of the most important
to teach Algebra or Chemistry classes missing from the agenda
that turns normal kids into at a school is study skills. Most
monsters. Strongly consider kids don't know how to study,
outside sources to keep the peace organize or adequately prepare
between you and your child. for a test if their grades are
low. If they also just don't get
3) In the future, don't set the subject matter at all, they
yourself up for surprises. Most are guaranteed a low or failing
middle and high schools have grade. Get a professional
websites that post the homework involved to work with your child
on not only learning the can see the board and hear the
concepts, but applying them. Try teacher. I have interviewed many
to find a tutoring service that children who simply didn't
teaches from the school's realize they needed glasses or
curriculum. Your child will had a hearing problem that went
benefit from a tutor that can undetected for several years.
look at their textbooks and
assignments and help them to 6) If your child has a diagnosed
apply what they are learning, not learning disability and the
just memorizing it and then school still wants to retain
forgetting it the next day. them, ask that the principal,
special education director and
5) If you receive a retention teacher all meet with you. It is
letter, call the school the school's responsibility to
immediately, especially if the meet all of your child's
letter is a surprise to you. A requirements as far as special
child in the primary grades has education. If the school is
to be performing well below grade recommending retention, something
level in order for the school to in your child's Individual
make a decision to retain. If Education Plan (IEP) needs to be
your child has not been diagnosed revisited.
with any learning disabilities,
ask that the school to test them 7) Retention, on the other hand,
to rule out any kind of is not a bad thing for a child
disability that is adversely who started school young (their
affecting their performance. birthday is between the end of
Parents have a legal right to ask August and the end of December).
for testing and to receive it It could be that they are not
within 40-50 days of your written mature enough yet. Many of my
request. Ask your child if they clients were retained one grade,
much to the parent's dismay, and capable of straight A's. Does
it ended up being the best thing your child feel too much pressure
for the child. The next year they to perform so they are shutting
did so much better and developed down?
wonderful self-confidence and
self-esteem. Give your child a chance to
redeem themselves. Sometimes a
Report card time can be emotional stern talking to and the removal
for parents if their children are of some privileges works wonders.
not performing as well as they Sometimes you need to reach out
should be. Take a good look at and get some outside help.
the reasons for the poor grades. Consider a tutor or learning
Revisit your child's involvement center. Taking yourself out of
in extra-curricular activities the equation will do wonders for
and their study habits. Are they your relationship with your
overbooked with sports to the children. Of course you care
point that homework and academics about them and want them to do
are the last priority of the well, but they have to learn to
evening when they are too tired be independent and establish good
to complete any homework? Are study skills at the same time.
they just plain lazy and Selecting the appropriate support
apathetic about school? Are they person or group will not make you
trying their best and not meeting the "bad guy". Your children will
your expectations (which may be thank you for it years from now!
too high)? Not all students are
About the Author:
Laurie Hurley is the Founder & President of Bright Apple Tutoring Service, Inc. based in Southern California and Home Tutoring Business, available for purchase in the U.S. and Canada. If you are looking to begin a tutor referral service in your community without the high cost of buying a franchise, contact Home Tutoring Business, http://www.hometutoringbusiness.com, at 1.805.376.0033.
Read more articles by:
Laurie Hurley
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